1). We never call.
2). We're late for your big date, Or worse, we stand you up.
3). Our hands don't fit a broom or mop.
4). We're allergic to dish soap (some men are allergic to ANY kind of soap).
5). We have no clue what the initials "FTD" stand for.
6). We forget your birthday. If we do remember your birthday you can expect a romantic gift from the local Auto Zone.
7.) We refuse to ask directions because we're "not lost."
8.) A romantic dinner at home means, you washing dishes before you cook us dinner. We would help in the kitchen except for that dish soap thing.
9.) We know everything.
10.) We all consider ourselves a prince or your knight in shining armor.
So, you still haven't found your knight in shining armor? Or your prince? How many frogs have you kissed looking for a prince, let alone a knight in shining armor? I've never kissed a frog myself, but I licked one once when I was a kid. Forget about a knight or prince. I know what you want, a DIAMOND. After all, "diamonds are a girl's best friend." Did you know diamonds start out just a lump of coal?
I'm a lump of coal waiting to be turned into your diamond. Hello, my name is Gary. I am 48, 6', 165 lbs., with brown eyes and hair. I enjoy swimming, fishing, boating, and camping. Movies, music, pool and darts. I'm low maintence, a good cook, and not allergic to dish soap. I'm inventive and romantic.
I am seeking a woman who is 25 to 45, smart, articulate, self-confident and is searching for intimacy, romance and fun. If you are height-weight proportionate, have the same interests as me and can turn a lump of coal into your diamond, I have TLC waiting. Race does not matter. Please send me a photo, it's nice to put a pretty face with who I'm writing. One more thing, tell me your birthday, just so I won't forget.
Or e-mail me here, but be sure to put my name in your letter, I share the box with several others.
